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PERSONAL MASTERY QUESTIONS 

1. In your life so far, have you achieved excellence at some kinesthetic skill? (E.g.  sport, musical instrument, 2nd language, chess, typing, etc.)
2. If so, did you sense that there are some universal principles that underlie any mastery process that could be applied to becoming excellent at less-measurable, pro-social skills like: empathetic listening; equanimity; wisdom; etc.?
3. How about applying mastery-path concepts to on-going, psychological maturity?
4. Wouldn’t everyone want to be: the calm, cool, clear-thinking person whenever chaos arises? Or, an ever better - parent, leader, mentor, jedi-master – whom everyone appreciates?
5. When you face “the final curtain”, will you be able to say: “I did it my way”?

STAGES OF MATURITY? 
Because human maturity challenges are universal, there are psychological models for stages of maturity. (Popular ones to get “AI summary overviews” for are by: Erik Erikson, Robert Kegan, Abraham Maslow, etc.) Here’s a simplistic summary of these models:

• Stage One: age 0 to 20+: skill up enough to become independent from living off parents.
• Stage Two: excel at becoming a successful adult which is based on what parents and society tell you.
• Stage Three: the mid-life transition: stop trying to live up to other folks’ prescriptions for success. Retune your life to align with your inner essence. Become your “authentic self”; achieve your” ikigai.
• Stage Four: continue to master your authentic self to the point that others appreciate your skills and wisdom and seek your help. This status improves your relationships and allows you to serve the “greater good”.

And, die with a smile of gratitude, because you left the world better than you found it with negligible regrets.   

But, many get hung up at each stage to then live stagnant lives.


OBSTACLES TO OVERCOME AT EACH STAGE

Within Stage One. Our K-12 education system is pegged to biological age and the non-existent “average student”. This fails “late bloomers” who then struggle to “launch” into stage two. And, others – for many reasons- may overdose, go to prison, or become lifelong dependents in some way.

Within Stage Two.  An increasing number of young adults cannot secure best-paying, knowledge-economy jobs to then be able to afford a home and family. And, even the super-educated must become non-stop re-learners to adapt to the pace of technological innovation. But, schools don’t teach life skills that include: “how to learn on your own forever to insure on-going employment”. No wonder that the number of 10-30- year-olds who are stressed-to-depressed is rising.

Many who “succeed” within Stage Two will wake-up (somewhere between 35 to 50) to realize that in spite of their achievements, they aren’t happy enough. They’ve been pursuing what they were told to do, which doesn’t resonate with their inner essence. Their mid-life transition begins.

What percentage of adults have a smooth, successful mid-life transition? Unknown. But, an estimated 10 to 20% will have a “mid-life crisis”. Will the rest keep growing psychologically into and within Stage Four?

These stats suggest many do not:

• As many as 76% of dying people state that their biggest regret is not having lived for themselves.
• Maslow studied “self-actualized” individuals who then moved on to “transcendence”. His guess was only about 1-2% achieved such status.
• One study found that about 6% of mature US adults tested as certifiably “wise”. And, the “wise” were most happy and generatively serving the greater good.

FOR MORE ON GROWING UP FOR LIFE

Get AI overviews for these questions:     

1. What are the intentional practices that will enable a good mid-life transition? (And/or to be a better parent, leader, etc.)
2. What goes into living an authentic life?  How can I define, find and design my ikigai?
3. What are Erikson’s definitions for generativity and integrity?
4. What percent of US adults are certifiably wise? How might I get wiser faster?

Good advice is valuable. But, we still have to master the process of mastery and do the work. Recall Mr. Miyagi’s advice:  “Do or do not, there is no try.”   

PS: For more thoughts on mastering a great life, check out my blogs: 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 16, and 18.